From Parent-Pleasing to People-Pleasing (Part 1 of 3)
How craving others' approval can sabotage healthy self-development.
1. What It Looks Like—and How It Feels
People-pleasers are proficient at pleasing everyone . . . but themselves. They are master accommodators, intuiting what is wanted of them and--in both word and deed--bestowing on others the attentiveness and care they’ll typically deny themselves. So frequently do they defer to others’ preferences that at some point they’ll actually lose sight of their own.
Regarding their value in life as based on their value to others, people-pleasers—so adept at nurturing those around them—literally don’t know how to nurture themselves. And because safeguarding relationships is the way they’ve learned to bolster their fragile egos, they’re unable to recognize that the ultimate cost of devoting themselves to the welfare of others is nothing less than sacrificing their own selfhood. Viewing their worth and personal security as totally hinging on pleasing or placating others, they end up forgetting who they are and what they themselves need to feel fulfilled....
...for more see link http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-part-1-3
No comments:
Post a Comment